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Here is a little pipe band NCO humor…

Drum Major:
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Faster than a speeding bullet
More powerful than a locomotive
Walks on Water
Talks to God

Pipers:
Leap small buildings with a run-up
Are crack shots
Pull railway carriages
Ford rivers
Listen to God

Side Drummers:
Vault over fences
Are allowed their own sidearms
Can read a railway timetable
Know how to put on fishing galoshes
Believe in God

Tenor Drummers:
Can open and walk through a door
Know which is the dangerous end of a gun
Have their own train sets
Wear Wellington boots
Talk to themselves

Bass Drummers:
Trip over matchsticks
Are NEVER allowed near firearms
Say “Look at CHOO-CHOO”
Play in puddles
Nobody listens to them, and finally.

THE PIPE MAJOR:
Lifts tall buildings and walks underneath them
Catches bullets in his teeth and chews them
Kicks locomotives off their tracks
Drinks entire oceans
He IS GOD!!!!